another link...

Here's another link to the latest news about the Thai/Cambodia conflict, actually covered by CNN International 

http://edition.com.com/2008/WORLD/asiapcf/10/16/thailand.cambodia.fighting.ap/index.html

Thailand vs. Cambodia

I am sure that most of you have not  heard that there is fighting going on between Thailand and Cambodia at the moment!  CNN news hasn't covered the story yet, and I doubt they will until things get really really serious.

BUT, if you're interested, here's the story....

Preah Vihear Province is to the north and borders Thailand.  There is a Hindu temple/sanctuary atop a hill very close to the border.  Years ago Cambodia was awarded the temple as part of the country, but there are several hectares of land surrounding the area that continue to be in dispute.  Thailand claims the land is theirs and so does Cambodia.  Several months ago the argument over this land and even the temple was renewed causing both sides to place military personnel and equipment along the border.  There hasn't been any real fighting...until yesterday.  Here's a link to a news story you can read to fill you in on more of the situation.

http://www.reuters.com/article/worldNews/idUSTRE49E3U720081015

Because we are so far from the border and Preah Vihear we don't feel any threat of this skirmish, but if things escalate any further we'll keep you posted on our situation.  CAMA does have one couple in the border town of Poipet who are feeling the tensions and have plans in place if they feel the need to leave the city.  Pray for them, their wisdom in how to handle the situation and for their safety.  They have told us that the past two days have been extremely tense in Poipet and the border crossing is officially closed.

Most of us are hoping that the situation will be resolved quickly and without further fighting and loss of life (2 Cambodians have died already).  Pray for the Prime Ministers on each side to have 'cool heads' and to make wise decisions.  Pray especially for Thailand whose government is in upheaval as it is already!

We'll keep you posted if anything else big happens.

The 7 day funeral bon

Today was the 7 day funeral bon.  

Two days ago our neighbor came to our home to give us our invitation to come to the event.  So the past two days I've been asking everyone I know what you do at a Buddhist funeral bon.  My teachers told me you go, give the family some money, eat rice porridge and then leave.

We knew there would be monks...a time of offering prayers for the deceased, and then possibly a teaching time, but we didn't know how it would all play out and what it was that we needed to do.  I got a few different answers on what was appropriate to wear to such an event so I was literally watching as guests arrived to see what they were wearing before I got myself and Aiden dressed!

Above all else we knew that it would make a HUGE statement in our community for us to go....#1 because we are Christian and #2 because we are foreigners.  My teacher at language school said she's never seen a foreigner go to a funeral before...sure foreigners are at weddings, but not funerals, she said.   So we prayed for God's wisdom and got ourselves dressed and went at the appropriate time this afternoon.

We're still not sure what to make of all of it as we don't know language and culture well enough to know exactly what happened, but our neighbors seemed very grateful that we were there and they made sure, several times, that we weren't going to leave too early and miss out on the rice porridge (which was darn good by the way....except for the squid tentacle that got stuck in Chris' teeth!)

Our prayers have been that through this experience that God would show himself to others through us...even if we say nothing at all, that people just KNOW that we are different.  They saw that we didn't participate in the merit making ceremony and prayers with the Monks, but they did see that we weren't afraid of it either.  Pray for this family that because we were willing to step out and go to the bon that they would be curious about us, and our God and that they would be willing to ask Mao, our nanny (who is also a follower of Jesus), or even that they would be willing to ask us about our faith (and if that happens pray that God miraculously gives us the language we need to say all that we need to say!)

Take a gander...

I've put a few new posts on our other blog that you may be interested in reading.  The blog is mainly about Aiden...here's the link:    http://ajbellar.blogspot.com

Enjoy!

Making a funeral...

     I truly don't mean this to sound tacky, but....the past two mornings I have been rather thankful that my sweet little boy gets up at the crack of dawn (anywhere between 5:30 and 6:00am).  I am thankful because if he hadn't woken me up I would have been pulled from my sleep by the not too tremendously pretty sound of the recorded funeral music that families play when someone dies.

     On saturday morning we were already awake when the music started blaring...and I do mean BLARING through our house.  We knew it meant one of three things....a wedding, a funeral or another 'bon' celebration of some kind.  We looked outside and didn't see anyone at all walking around in our neighborhood and we couldn't exactly tell where the music was coming from.  About 15 minutes later, I looked out again and finally saw it....the white flag that is flown near the house of the one who has just died.  It was flying at the house right across from ours.  The particular type of music that was playing is the same song that is played at the home of every Buddhist when they die.  We have been told that it is played as soon as possible after the person dies, so that the soul of the one who has just died (which is still roaming around somewhere) will know that they have died.  

     It took both Chris and I by surprise as we had just been talking with the wife of that family the evening before and she had said nothing of anyone being sick or near death.  Soon there was quite a bustle going on as people were coming and going in preparation for the funeral bon that was to happen that day.  The music got louder and louder...so much so that even though Chris and I were in the same room with one another we had to shout at eachother to be able to hear what the other was saying.  Then the monks came to offer prayers and to chant with the family...at points they were louder than the music!  

     Throughout the day tents went up, tables and chairs were put up and prepared for the funeral meal.  We soon realized that if we were going to go anywhere during the day that we needed to get our car out before they finished putting the tent up.  We literally had tables sitting just outside our gate and the funeral tent, once it was completely set up consumed our entire road.  The event went through the evening until 10:30pm when the lights in their house went out.  (We did have to park our car at a friends house though as we couldn't pull it down our road and into our garage).  

     As I got up and ate my cereal at the table this morning, I might as well have been eating out with the guests as we were pretty much staring at each other through the plants in front of our house....strange!  Finally 36 hours later this first of the three necessary funeral bons ended.  The second will come on the 7 day anniversary of the death and then the final one on the 100th day anniversary.  This is all part of the Buddhist/Khmer culture here.  I also noticed today that the youngest daughter in the home (a beautiful little girl, maybe 4 years old) has already had her head shaved bald.  This is a way to honor the one who has died.  So sad to see her beautiful long shiny black hear totally gone.

     What has struck me about this event is the lack of community involvement in the process.  We have said before that due to what happened during Pol Pot's time that people really don't trust one another too much and relationships are often lacking, but this just made it seem even more real.  Yes, the funeral caused all of of who live on this little street a bit of inconvenience (4 families had to walk through the funeral in order to go anywhere!) but through all of it I didn't see any of our neighbors go to see the family or be involved.  

     Another example of this that happened recently is when the house right next door to us had a baby.  We knew that she was pregnant and getting really close to delivering, but we had heard nothing from anyone.  Then as Chris was out with Aiden the other evening the dad came out and casually mentioned that TWO weeks ago their new baby boy was born!  No one else in our neighborhood knew either!  So I went to school the next day and asked my teacher what neighbors normally do for one another when a new baby is born.  She gave me a strange look and said that we don't do anything, that it was the families responsibility and they shouldn't burden the neighbors for help.  She did follow that by saying that since I was a foreigner that I could probably take them some food if I wanted to, and they would probably think it strange, but just chalk it up to the fact that I am a foreigner.

     I find it hard to be in a community where major life events are announced by sudden loud blaring music, or not announced at all.  Our hope is that when we learn this language and begin working in a community that our presence and therefore Jesus' presence will bring back some care and concern for the ones living next door.

There are just those times...

...when you are in language study, desperately attempting to learn a new language (so that you can actually talk to the people around you) that you for one reason or another just can't say anything at all!  Your tongue is tied or you just can't remember how to form the sentence correctly so you stutter along trying to get your point across until you just want to quit and go find someone you can talk to in English!

Needless to say, we've had a few of those days lately.  They tend to come out of nowhere and smack you right in the face with a load of discouragement and frustration.

What's been even more frustrating lately is that we are beginning to learn how to talk about God.  Yes, I did say we have to LEARN how to talk about God.  In Khmer there are different forms of speaking.  You use different words depending on who you are talking to or about.  

The words we use to talk about God actually come from Sanskrit and tend to be long and confusing.  Jesus' hand is not just a 'hand' its something totally other.  And if you want to pray, well you better study what words you can and can't use to make  your requests known to God (if you are praying out loud, that is).

So today I was proud of myself for being able to have a phone conversation completely in Khmer, but then when I walked down the street with Aiden and attempted a chat with the guys at the wood shop and couldn't understand much of what they said, I was again frustrated and wondering....will I EVER learn this crazy language!

On a more positive note, Aiden has learned that he loves french fries and climbing up the stairs to our bedroom!  Oh to have the heart and mind of a child....able to absorb everything around!

Election Update

For those of you interested in the election events here in Cambodia (or any other news for that matter) you can go to the Phnom Penh Post's website at:   http://www.phnompenhpost.com

As of the moment, the CPP (Cambodia People's Party) is claiming victory, which means that Hun Sen, the current Prime Minister will remain in office.  However, there seem to be some shady dealings with the elections (not unusual) and people are estimating that 100,000 people here in Phnom Penh were not allowed to vote because their names were "somehow erased" from the voter registration papers!   Outside of this, the election went by rather quietly...no problems as in the past.

The Opposition parties are asking for a re-vote in Phnom Penh....but we'll see if that actually happens!  We have been warned to stay out of public places and crowds this weekend in case anything happens in the form of a riot of protest.   

Another interesting article on current land grabbing issues here in Cambodia can be found at:  

http://www.iht.com/articles/2008/07/26/asia/27cambodia.php

What we're eating these days...

     

We are often asked what kinds of food we eat here in Cambodia.  Though there are Western grocery stores and items available here, in our home we eat a majority of Khmer food.  There are a few dishes that we have found that we don't  like, but for the most part we eat some REALLY good food!

     People often talk about losing lots of weight when they travel overseas....here in Cambodia though I think we have to be careful that we don't gain weight!  Here's a few of the things we ate just this passed week.

Pic #1  Fried Tilapia with Ginger and fermented beans  (doesn't look too lovely, but really doesn't taste too bad!)

Pic #2  Samlah Mechjew Krueng  (made with tamarind for a sour taste, hot peppers, water convolusus, and beef...this is a VERY popular Khmer dish and it really is VERY good!)

Pic #3  TaoHuu  This is Chris' favorite breakfast here.  There was a dish like it in the Phillipines that he loves as well called Tahot.  Pretty much its homemade tofu with a sugar ginger liquid...yum yum!

     For the longest time I've thought that I have the perfect business opportunity while living overseas.

     As foreigners, and native English speakers living in another country you can often be bombarded with advertisements and even billboards that are written in English.  When we lived in Battambang we collected different types of clean water bottles because we truly enjoyed reading the English descriptions of the purification process on the bottle.  When  you go to restaurants it can also be humorous to read through the menu as many times the translation of the type of food you are ordering suggests you are eating something quite unique!

     So I've decided that if I ever needed to make a little extra money all I need to do is contact restaurants and different companies that like to advertise in English and offer to proof-read their materials before they decide to print several thousand items with very poor english on them.  

     The picture above is of a wrapper for an electric mosquito killer that we recently purchased.  It reads: 

beautiful enduring

safe encironm-eatal

piotection

usage convenienie

Hmmm.....yet another one to add to our collection!

     This is also a reminder to us of the importance of really focusing on language learning and good communication.  We were told a story the other day about a man who has come to Cambodia to 'preach the Gospel', but he didn't believe in the necessity of good, solid language learning.  Our friends heard him preach the other day, and because speaking about religious things in the Cambodian language requires you do have an entirely different vocabulary (which this man didn't know about) he ended up preaching total heresy!  Rather than saying that humans are totally incapable of getting rid of our sin and that without Jesus we can never get close to God, he stated that humans did not sin and that we could be like God!  Wow!  Getting three or four words wrong can communicate the opposite of what you really meant to say!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! (4/13/08)

YES, we did just say Happy New Year...Happy KHMER new year that is!  Cambodia, Laos, and Thailand all celebrate their New Year on April 13th this  year.

     For Cambodians this holiday means 3 days off work, and often people go to the provinces to visit their families.  Another way the Khmer celebrate is by throwing water on one another, which can be nice (if done in a gentle way) as April is the hottest month of the year here.  They also like to throw baby powder on one another (usually on the head/face).

 

     The night of the 13th is an important one as the New Year  Angel is supposed to visit each house.  Much like we leave Santa Clause cookies and milk on Christmas Eve, the Khmer will make an angel table in their home with food and coca-cola for the angel to enjoy!  The next morning people take food to the Wat as an offering so that they can ask for blessings of money and good fortune in the year to come.

     We don't yet understand all that these customs mean, but hopefully as we learn more language and culture we'll be able to engage people in dialogue about this important holiday!

     SO...again, we wish you happiness along the road as we enter the NEW YEAR!

'Crossing the River' (4/10/08)

   Today we are celebrating the arrival of our new nephew!  My (Julee) sister just delivered their 3rd baby...a little boy - Wyatt Anderson McKay!  We are VERY excited for them and wish we could be there to celebrate with them and to hold this new little guy!

     Life events like this one open the door for us to learn new words in Khmer as well as cultural things.  As I shared with my language tutor today about this new baby boy I learned several things about having babies here in Cambodia.

     When you tell a person here that you just had a baby you use the phrase, "I have crossed the river".  The Mekong is a rather large river here and swimming from one shore to another, especially at the height of rainy season, can be very dangerous...many people have drowned making the attempt.  Giving birth has its risks for just about everyone, but in developing countries like Cambodia, that do not have good medical care, it can be even more risky.  For this reason, the Khmer describe labor and delivery as having to 'cross the river'.  Some women will make it through this process, and some will not.

     When I told Suen (Sue-uhn) how big our new little nephew is she gasped, grabbing her chest and fanning herself!  Wyatt weighed 9lbs 3oz at birth, which is on the big side in the states, but is on the HUGE side here in Cambodia!  An average Cambodian baby (IF the mother is healthy and ate well during pregnancy) would weigh somewhere around 2 to 3 kilo (4-6lbs), so when I told Suen that Wyatt weighed 4.2 kilo she just knew that my sister hadn't survived the birth!  I told her that things went very well and that my sister was doing great, she exclaimed, "Oh, they must have cut the baby out!"  I told her no, that the delivery was natural, no surgery required.

     She was amazed, and I told her that because we (westerners in general) are bigger than most Khmer, we tend to have bigger babies.  She agreed, but finished by saying "Yes, but SO difficult!"

     Mr. Wyatt, we are SO happy that you are here, and a part of our family.  We pray each day that God will help you grow strong and healthy and that some day you will choose to follow Jesus with all of your heart...for the rest of your life.

We love you!  auntie julee and uncle 'ris

PRAYER CARDS! (3/28/08)

This was something we meant to take care of quite awhile back!  OOPS!

Before we left the states we made some prayer cards, and meant to get them in the mail to people, but with the craziness that surrounds the last few days before departure, it just didn't get done.  They are now a few months old, but we still would like you to have them if you'd like...

For those of you in Kentucky, I am going to have my mom send one pack of them to Pat Richmond at Asbury Seminary, and one pack of them to Sue Cook at First Alliance Church.  If you are interested in having one of our prayer cards, please pick them up from one of those two offices!

For those of you in Amarillo, there will be a packet of them sent to Chris' mom, who can get them to you as needed.

For the rest of you out there, I'll most likely need your addresses if you would like one of our prayer cards.  Please just send us an email at:  the bellars@hotmail.com and we'll get them send your way!

I'd also like to ask something of each of you!  We would like to have a digital photos of you and your families.  A few years ago we were in another missionary's home and they had a wall with photos of all the people back in their home country who were praying for them.  It served two purposes:  1) as a reminder of God's faithfulness to them as He supplied people to pray for them on a regular basis.  2)  the pics served as a visual reminder to the missionaries to pray for those who were praying for them.    We are extremely blessed that you pray for us, but we also want you to know that we pray for you as well!

Returning and Remembering (3/25/08)

     In January of 2003 we came to Cambodia with Dr. Eunice Irwin and a group of students as part of the requirements for a class we were taking called 'The Church Abroad'.  The trip was quite formative for us, as it was during these two weeks we spent in Cambodia that we became acquainted with CAMA Services, and in turn ended up on the track we are on now.

     Part of our trip included seeing cultural sights, especially those having to do with the tumultuous recent history surrounding Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge.  As you may know, during the Khmer Rouge reign, between 2 and 3 million Cambodians were savagely and routinely murdered.

     During this trip we made a trip to a place known as Toul Sleng (also known as S-21).  Before Pol Pot, Toul Sleng was a school here in Phnom Penh.  However, during Pol Pot's time it was transformed into a prison and place of toture and murder.  When people were brought to S-21 to be interrogated their 'biographies' were taken along with their pictures so that the Khmer Rouge would know exactly who had been killed in that place.  The 'mug shots' of those who died in the torture cells at Toul Sleng fill several rooms that you can walk through as part of 'museum'.

      Chris and I were especially struck by one picture in particular, and it is one that we have never forgotten, almost as if its been burned into our minds.  This picture is of a woman, possibly in her 30's holding her  young baby (I would guess maybe 5-6 months old).  The most sobering part for us was the date on this particular picture, 1978.  For the two of us, the reality hit that this picture could have been our own mothers, cradling us in their arms before both of us were cruelly executed.  For us, being born in the United States, and not in Cambodia meant life, and not death!  We were babies during this horrible time in history for Cambodia, and had we not had to study the history of Cambodia for this class, we would have never known of all the atrocities that happened here.

Today, 5 years after our first visit to Toul Sleng we returned with a CAMA Services friend who was visiting Cambodia for the first time.  Chris and I again stood in front of the picture of this woman and her baby...but this time we were holding our own child in our arms...

Cambodia's history is one that must be remembered, it must be learned from.  I am struck by the fact that RIGHT NOW there are places in the world where prisons like Toul Sleng are in operation, where genocide is occurring and adults and children are being killed every single day.  We must remember history, and we must embrace the truth of what is happening around the world today and make an effort to do something about it.

Not 'clean' enough

Most people might never consider the fact that being 'clean' is a culturally defined concept (its different in different places).  Hmmm, you say, what do you mean by that?  Well, here's a good example from our home-stay!

     It was probably our third evening with our family, around dinner time, and it was a bit unusual that we weren't in the process of fixing the evening meal, but we just assumed that at some point we'd prepare the food.  Chris, Aiden and I were relaxing under the house when 'mom' and 'dad' got up and went inside the house.  When they came back out, both of them had wet hair and a new set of clothes on.  In a very polite way 'dad' said to Chris, "For you, how many times a day do you take a bath?"  Chris responded that we usually bathe twice a day - once in the morning and then again in the evening.  "Hmmm, " 'dad' says, "I take AT LEAST 3 baths a day, and sometimes even 4 or 5."  This was his very Asian and indirect way of telling us that we needed to bathe more often during the day!  He was correcting our behavior.  They then proceeded to take us to an important church meeting....and I'm positive we were the only ones who hadn't bathed before we got there!

     As we observed them more and more we realized that they did, in fact take 4 or 5 baths a day.  We had never picked up on it before as they would simply disappear for a little bit and then come back with a slightly wet shirt, which we would attribute to them being a little sweaty.  To help us change our behavior 'mom' would remind us at least 3 times through the day to go and "ngoot tuk" or take a bath.  Taking this many baths a day is a way of not only keeping our bodies clean and smelling nice (especially now that its HOT season) its a way to keep your body cool in the heat of the day.

     In contrast, Chris and I weren't too concerned with how sticky our skin was (we figure its just a part of living in Cambodia!), but we were pretty particular about keeping our room clean.  Each day we would sweep and mop the floor.  For us, and many other foreigners, keeping the floor clean is a big part of life here....if you don't sweep and mom your floor daily the amount of dirt and dust that collects is amazing!  Your feet quickly turn brownish black on bottom and if you get them even slightly wet you leave muddy footprints everywhere!  But, for many Khmer it is not too important to have clean floors.  During our two weeks at home-stay, the floor on the inside of the house was mopped only one time.  Cobwebs are left hanging and dust collects on the walls, on picture frames and cabinets around the house.

     We all look at things differently...part is cultural, part is personality and personal preference.  This is just one example of the things we are learning about everyday life here.  Though we will never be Khmer, we can work to learn as much about their way of life and thinking as possible so that we can take down as many barriers between us as possible.

Getting Settled (3/15/08)

     Unbelievably, its already been ONE month since our arrival in Phnom Penh, Cambodia!  Our times has been filled with reacquainting ourselves with the CMA/CAMA team here in country, a two week  home-stay and finding and setting up a new home for ourselves.  The blessings have been SO numerous that its hard to count them all!

     AIDEN has adjusted to  his new surroundings quite well and is described by all the Khmer he meets as being a very 'slote' (long 'o' sound) baby...which means he is a pretty easy going fellow!  He has taken very well to the Khmer and when someone wants to carry him around he seems to look at us and say "See ya later, mom and dad!"  That of course can be good, but quite nerve wracking at the same time also!  He is adjusting to the heat, as are we and his favorite time of day is bath time...which happens at least 3 times a day...even 4 or 5 times now that it is hot season!

     Our HOME-STAY was a great learning experience...stretching at times, but overall it went quite well.  Probably the hardest part for us was parenting through it all!  The Khmer parent quite differently than we do, allowing their babies to do much more than we do, so we found ourselves anxious at times, but God carried us through it all.  The family we stayed with was wonderful and we hope that our relationship with them will be a long-standing one!  There will be more blogs to come as we process this experience with you!

     Yet another amazing blessing is our NEW HOME!  We had been told by several different families (CMA and otherwise) that they h ad to look for several months to find their homes.  With that in mind, we were not looking forward to the process of finding a home to rent.  On our first Sunday in church (during home-stay) we met a Khmer woman who knew of a house that was for rent.  She told us she could set up an appointment for us to look at the house and to meet the landlord.  So, that afternoon we went and looked it over, and the next day m ade an agreement with the landlord to rent it for the next year!  SUCH an answer to prayer!  It is a small cement house in a small neighborhood, just like what we were wanting!  Our landlord lives next door (a very big bonus!) and there are lots of children and families around for us to get to know.  We are now in the midst of getting moved in and purchasing the things we need to make this house our home.

     We have also begun LANGUAGE STUDY at a school named KSL, or the Khmer School of Language.  We each have an intensive hour with a private teacher at this school, and then we have an hour and a half of tutoring with a tutor that has been used by CAMA for several years.  We are then required to put in at least 3.5 more hours of study during the day...which consists of some book study and lots of practice with our neighbors and in the markets.  God is blessing us by helping us to remember some of what we learned when we were here before so we are on our way to becoming Khmer speakers!

     As you can see, its been a whirlwind of a month...life is already busy and we are just getting started!